There is no simple answer. However, here is a list of most
common reasons.
1.
Financial dependence on spouse.
2.
Lack of self esteem and depression.
3.
The
children.
4.
No
place to go and no support group spouse is aware of.
5.
Embarrassment over admitting failure in the
marriage.
Is
there help? Yes!!-But first you must be willing to help yourself
before anyone can help you.
Admitting there is a problem is the first big step. The second
thing you need to do is seek advice from a member of the clergy,
mental health professional, marriage support groups or an
attorney in your community.
Many communities offer free support groups and places you
and the children can go and stay in times of crisis. Check it
out so the next time you are prepared to take the right steps
for you and the children.
Most states now have “Domestic Violence” statutes that
can provide a cooling off period. If you have been abused, call
the police, seek medical attention, take pictures (they are
truly worth a thousand words) and file a petition with your
local court, police or commissioner. This will send the abuser
packing for a cooling off period. However, the alleged abuser
will have a hearing generally within 1 week, depending on
service and the court system. At that time the court will decide
whether to extend the time to stay away or not. Most courts can
give you use and possession of your home, temporary custody of
your child or children and temporary support. The Judge can
often order the abusing spouse to attend anger management
courses, pay interim support and keep the person away from
schools and work.
Never use domestic violence
as a way to instigate an altercation because you are trying to
get your spouse out of the house. This could boomerang against
you and now you are on the defensive. Judges are keenly aware
that there is room for reverse abuse by using the statutes
solely for self gain and to get custody of the children as the
first strike in a custody battle. You could loose and so do the
children.
The Courts generally define
domestic violence as an individual who has received deliberate,
severe, and demonstrable physical injury, or is in fear of
imminent deliberate, severe, and demonstrable physical injury
from a current or former spouse, or a current or former
cohabitant. The Court can and does look at past acts of domestic
violence.
Do not wait after you have been abused because
the Courts are there to provide immediate relief and generally,
will not issue an order weeks after the incident.
When you go to Court many advocacy groups can assist
you at nominal charge or for free. If you know that you need and
want a final break in the relationship and
you are ready to help
yourself, then contact a lawyer in your community to
assist you. He can help you prepare for your trial. He
understands the judicial process and can help you from making a
mistake that could lead to a denial of a domestic violence
order. Be prepared to have witnesses, bring photos and medical
records.
Don't be a
statistic. You need to help yourself before anyone can help you.
Your future depends on what you do.
| Victims of Violence in the U.S. |
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This article is
general in nature and you should check with a lawyer in your
community for specific legal advice on your facts and domestic
violence laws in your community.
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